inward

My titles have decreased significantly at work as we move towards summer pub months.  A good portion of my work day is spent sitting quietly.  At first I found this difficult.  When the number of titles drops from 120 to 30 in a matter of a couple weeks the difference is staggering, and the sudden shift creates a feeling of vertigo.  Once the vertigo passes my mind is able to drift inwards, and the empty hours I found long and difficult to endure now slide by like water over a smooth stone.

I used to spend slow days reviewing color on hardcover reprints, and I would plow through a stack 6 hours straight, methodically comparing hues and taking meticulous notes.  I quickly learned that this will strain my eyes and I had headaches for a week, but I did it anyway because I wanted to learn about color, and the best way I saw to do this was to throw myself into it completely.  I think some people find this hard to do, but it becomes very easy when your mind is focused.  This is the same way I am able to sit still and not fall asleep or become frustrated with the slow passing of time.  It is singular focus.  I am not thinking about time, or food, or anything outside.  When I am sitting still, meditative, I am focusing inward on quieting my mind and only on this.

This is something I should aim to do more often.  To practice focusing my mind and to quiet distractions.  And there seem to be some many things for my mind to stray to.  What to prepare for the next meal, how to decorate the apartment, how to spend money, how to stop the cat from peeing on the shoes-- I could go on for ages, but I won't and I shouldn't because to allow my mind to dwell on temporal things is mindless waste.